No Backspaces.
[Crossed out because it’s just bad writing.]
The standard CD holds 74 minutes of audio. I don’t know why I chose to use that as a template for this writing assignment, but that’s what I chose. There are only three criteria for this assignment: 1) write, non-stop, for 74 minutes; 2) do not use the ‘backspace’, any arrow keys, or spell check; and 3) to write whatever comes to mind. Dimitri Martin said this to start his “These are Jokes” album. “This starts right effing…now”.
If you look at the last sentence, you can see that i put the period behind the quotation mark. This goes against the normal puncuation convention of having to place the ending quotation of a quote within the boundaries of the quo…the annotated quotation marks. I made my self… what i meant to say is that i mead my firt…i’m making a lot of mistakes. I guess i’m doing this because it’s the closest thing to talking. i’m not sure why i chose this format bu t …well i think that i write better than i talk so to write in a style that mimicks my speaking style doesn’t make too much sense. i think my thoughts are like a chili…if words were food. some people speak in thew way food comes out of a mcdonalds: quick, tasty, and something that appeals to the masses. for me, i just can’t wo…communicate in that way. just like a chili, if you don’t give it time, its not really what it’s supposed to be. if you look at a chili that hasn’t simmered under heat for a considerable amount of time, it’s just a loose collection of beans, raw meat, and chopped vegetables. messy and probably harmful. i’m not saying that chili is anyway superiior to the food served at mcdonalsd, i’m just saying that there’s a difference in the time it takes to let it become what’ it’s supposed to become. where was i? okay, the quick recap to all of this is that i’m better at writing than speaking, so why am i writing in my speaking style? i’m not sure.
maybe it’s to make this sound more like a regular conversation…wait…this isn’t like a cnoversation at all. i’m just bantering on and on and it’s all one directional. well…maybe i’m just ranting. that’s probably what it is. but back to my original point about the pnctuation laying outside of the boundaries of the quotation mark for quotations that end in punctuations. i like to do it this way because i just rationalize that i’m quoting the quotation before the sentence of that original quotation ended and i’m choosing to enclose the sentence after the qyote. it’s wordy and doesn’t really mean anything, but that is my take on punctuations of quotations. this is just wasting time. the thing about arguing about things like this is ultimately pointless. my point of view on this topic of punctuations and quotations lies outside the larger and previously established rules (no matter their consistancy, or lakthereof) and even though i think they’re more accurate and should be folloewed i’m probably not going to win any converts and i’m not definitely not going to change the punctuation conventions by doing so. it’s just complaining without wanting any change or expecting any change. but i do it anyways. i don’t know why i have thess gripes about things that i can’t change but i do have them. wait…i’ve got griples about things that i can change but end up not doing anything about. i guess this is a good point to jump away from punctuations and quotatings and to start talking about something else.
complaining about things i can’t change (i’m going to start using the backspace only to fix punctuation errors…it’s been driving me nuts to leave these spelling errors in, and it’s actually taking me more time than anything to remind myself to not go and correct them). i think everyone does it. economy’s bad, politics suck, there’s wars going around the world. these things bug people and people complain about them all the time. even though in school, teachers have been saying that everybody can make a difference, the fact is that in larger matters, the individual is powerless to have any lasting change. for the example of the economy: even if one consumer does everythign in their power to stimulate the economy, it won’t move enough for him to reap any visible benefits of it at all. also, sad to say, complaining about or even discussing current events level politics with people won’t change a thing on the individual level. at most, it can just motivate one to move closer or further away from a political philosophy. so people complain, i’m a person and i complain. the bad thing about the things i complain about are the things that i, as an individual, have the power to actual affect. my major gripes in my life right now are things that i can change to my benefit, but that i choose not to. it’s not just laziness. i’ve delt with laziness my entire life, and i guess i’ve found mechanisms to compensate for it. just like people with dyslexia that have found ways to compensate for how their brains organize ideas. most people with dyslexia don’t know that they’re dyslexic until they’ve been diagnosed, because by the time they’re adults, they’ve found a way to deal.
i’m not saying that compensated dyslexia or compensated laziness are beneficial or even nuetral states, but i’m saying that there are corrections that are made to mitigate the effect of the condition to assume a more normalized life. what was i thinking about. oh yeah, this state i’m in right now isn’t even laziness. what i’ve been going through for the last 18 months is a gradually increasing lack of motivation to do anything. it’s not to say that i don’t have goals…the worst part of all this is that i actually do set goals…but even though i plan and aim, i can’t seem to get past the simple steps to achieve my goals. then these plans get stacked up, and it goes from lack of motivation to discouragement, and then a type of waking coma. i guess the best thing to describe it is trying to revert back to the state of pre-birth: kinda like the state of baby chicks that haven’t hatched yet. i just seek comfort and reject discomfort to the point that i get nothing accomplished. the worst part about all of this is that i don’t even have fun in this state. it’s a form of wandering. it’s like in mythology, the people in the neterworld across the river styx, it’s not really anything, but you’re just existing, and that’s it. maybe i’m just…i’m cutting it short. i’m lying down.
